Keeping the love bank full

Love is considered to be the most impoertant word in the english language. Thousands of songs, books, movies and magazines are written all about love. One famous Christian leader, Jesus, wanted his followers to be known for their love so it would be a distinguishing characteristic.

The need to feel love is a primary human emotional need. For love we will swim oceans and climb mountains, even go against what our family thinks and die for it.

A lot of the behaviors of children who misbehave are done because their "love tank" is empty. Of all the parents that swear their child is a "bad seed" if they only knew the results stemmed from with holding their love. They provide for their physical needs and the buck stops right there.

This emotional need follows those children right into adulthood. What good is the house, the car and the money if your spouse does not love you? Material things can only go so far for a material girl. If you are a wife, ignored by your lover all day then they want to hop in bed wth you at night, you hate it. You do not hate sex, you hate the emotional unavailability.

Loneliness is the killer, isolation can kill, that is why solitary confinement is the cruelest punishment. At the center of anyone's heart is the desire to be loved and needed, to enter in to each other's life in a deeply intimate way.

Love is important and when the love is "gone" many couples, can not endure the inner ache that becomes unbearable. They no longer enjoy being together because their "emotional love bank" is empty.

They stop making dates, they stop sharing secrets, they stop sharing quality time together. They stop all that "love talk" that is so prevalent in the beginning of all love relationships, they stop doing each other favors, they stop rubbing backs and toes, but more importantly they stopped putting their partner's feelings first.

Not all relationships go wrong with arguing and fighting, many a terrific relationship has gone sour in silence. The "silent treatment" may be worse than the bickering and yelling, at least there is communication on an emotional level, as long as the words are not harsh or condescending, and no name calling. Leave your "mama" talk out too.

Details mean everything, and for all of the things loved and lost during a relationship, it is all of those little bitty nicetties, that you hold dearly to your heart. She always left the hallway light on at night, he always took care of me when I was sick, she always bought me chocolate cherries at Christmas, she always made carrot cake without the raisins. For love.

When you are out of town and have to be away from each other, your full love bank is what keeps your heart filled to the brim and reminds you of your lover waiting for you. Your full love bank is what reminds the one waiting at home, they will be coming back soon. Your full love bank is what keeps the relationship going during arguments.

The greatest story every told ends with, "Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."